Deeply Rooted Faith

It was there above my head. A small red button. All I needed to do was push it. All I had to do was reach up. But I couldn't do it. My arms wouldn't move. We were visiting Niagara Falls, on the Canadian side. My daughter and son-in-law suggested we go on the sky wheel for some great views of the falls. The sky wheel is a rather large Ferris wheel that carries you 175 feet above the ground for scenic views of the falls and the surrounding area. We bought the tickets, and as I watched people getting on the line and later off the ride with smiles and amazing pictures I was excited. I knew it was safe and sturdy. But all that changed in a matter of seconds. We boarded our gondola and I joked with my son-in-law about being scared. We posed for a fake picture. Then the ride moved. Only an eighth of a turn, to allow more riders to board and a sudden rush of fear filled me. I lost all faith in being kept safe. A grabbed hold of my seat and froze. For a moment my family thought I was joking. They soon realized I was not and my wife pushed the button I wanted so hard to reach, but couldn't. The ride reversed and I got off and scurried away to a far bench to regroup while my family finished the ride.
  I had faith in the ride. It seemed like a great deal of faith. But it was not deeply rooted. At that single moment of doubt when the ride moved, I lost it. This is what Jesus answers his disciples when they ask for more faith in this Sunday's gospel. He tells them of the ability of the faith of a mustard seed. The tiniest faith. The ability to uproot deep rooted trees and cast them aside. The ability to do miracles. You see it is not the amount of faith that helps us continue this journey in Christ's footsteps, it is deep rooted faith. It is a faith that cannot be shaken by misfortune, or fear. It cannot be shaken by a society against it. It is a faith that runs so deep that we realize we can not live without an intimate relationship with God. It is a faith rooted in our rituals. Rooted in prayer. Rooted in the Eucharist.
 But that relationship requires us to use our faith every minute of our days on earth. Like the servant who must wait on his master even after working in the fields, we are called to live our faith in all aspects of our life. We a called to be Catholics at home and at work.  When the day begins and when it ends. When we are alone with God and when we are among God's people. It is deeply rooted by the water of our baptism, the oil of our confirmation and the Eucharistic meal. When the disciples ask,"give us more faith," they really get the answer that it is not only about them, but about God's work for God's people. Whatever we do, it is not for only us, but for those who need to hear and experience the love of God.
  As I found a bench by the sky wheel and caught my breath, I waited for my family and calmed down. As they finally approached, I stood up. My legs had stopped shaking and I was ready to go. Just then a woman approached me. "I want to buy your ticket for that ride," she said. I was perplexed. "Excuse me?" I responded. She said, "I was not sure I could get on that ride. But my husband kept assuring me it would be alright. I was in the gondola behind you and I was extremely nervous. But when I saw you get off, I knew that if I really could not do it, then I could push the button and stop the ride. That confidence allowed me to experience something that may never have happened and I would not have had the confidence without you."
  So you see, nothing we live as God's people is only for us. What we say. What we do. Even what be can't do. It all has an affect on those round us.

-peace

Jesus and the young man

this past Sunday, we listened once again to Jesus telling us what we must do, how we should change, if we want to follow the way. This is the path to salvation. This is the path of new life. We have been told that we will have to change, to give up our old ways and become reborn. The harsh words that Jesus uses instruct us to leave our family behind and renounce the ways of the world, lest we lose our souls.
  I can't help but think about those preachers and bible thumpers who insist that the bible be taken word for word. I recall listening to one of them on the radio late one night as he proclaimed that all Catholics are going to he'll because Catholicism has added books to the bible. I am not really sure how he had such information as to whether one bible was the better than the other. A fear and am filled with sorrow over people who, in the name of Jesus, condemn others.
   Someone recently has been trying to get an elderly relative of mine to go to confession. My relative is in the 90's and feels as if the woman is trying to ready her for death, and my relative is just not ready. I passed along the advice to go to reconciliation, when ready to go, but the other woman insisted I am wrong, and wants to 'speak with me.'
  In any odd these situations, I recall the story of Jesus and the young man who wishes to find salvation. The man tells Jesus that he already follows the law of Moses and his forefathers. Jesus then tells him to give up all his possessions and follow. The young man is saddened and leaves, unable to do so. He is not ready.
   That is where the story ends. Jesus is saddened that the man cannot, but the story does not say that Jesus ran after him and continued to pressure him to give up all he had. No, Jesus allowed the young man the time to find the way when he was ready. Jesus opened the door to the way, but did not force him in. And there is the problem. We can not force people to accept Jesus as their savior, lest we begin the crusades and inquisitions again. We can offer the words, the actions, the knowledge that will lead them to salvation, but salvation is a gift, and gifts can not be forced. Gifts need to be accepted. And Neil the person is ready to accept that gift, it remains wrapped.
   
Peace.

Jesus and the young man

this past Sunday, we listened once again to Jesus telling us what we must do, how we should change, if we want to follow the way. This is the path to salvation. This is the path of new life. We have been told that we will have to change, to give up our old ways and become reborn. The harsh words that Jesus uses instruct us to leave our family behind and renounce the ways of the world, lest we lose our souls.
  I can't help but think about those preachers and bible thumpers who insist that the bible be taken word for word. I recall listening to one of them on the radio late one night as he proclaimed that all Catholics are going to he'll because Catholicism has added books to the bible. I am not really sure how he had such information as to whether one bible was the better than the other. A fear and am filled with sorrow over people who, in the name of Jesus, condemn others.
   Someone recently has been trying to get an elderly relative of mine to go to confession. My relative is in the 90's and feels as if the woman is trying to ready her for death, and my relative is just not ready. I passed along the advice to go to reconciliation, when ready to go, but the other woman insisted I am wrong, and wants to 'speak with me.'
  In any odd these situations, I recall the story of Jesus and the young man who wishes to find salvation. The man tells Jesus that he already follows the law of Moses and his forefathers. Jesus then tells him to give up all his possessions and follow. The young man is saddened and leaves, unable to do so. He is not ready.
   That is where the story ends. Jesus is saddened that the man cannot, but the story does not say that Jesus ran after him and continued to pressure him to give up all he had. No, Jesus allowed the young man the time to find the way when he was ready. Jesus opened the door to the way, but did not force him in. And there is the problem. We can not force people to accept Jesus as their savior, lest we begin the crusades and inquisitions again. We can offer the words, the actions, the knowledge that will lead them to salvation, but salvation is a gift, and gifts can not be forced. Gifts need to be accepted. And Neil the person is ready to accept that gift, it remains wrapped.
   
Peace.

Burdens

God our Father,help us to follow the exampleof your Son’s patience in suffering.By sharing the burden he carries,may we come to share his gloryin the kingdom where he lives with you and the Holy Spirit,one God, for ever and ever.– Amen.Ever feel like the whole world is stepping all over you? We all get those days from time to time. But for some people, it may seem like it happens everyday. As my wife says, 'sometimes we are the pigeon, and sometimes we are the car under the tree where the pigeon sits.'
  Our life is full of burden and disappointment at many turns. Each time we feel the splat of life taking its turn at disappointment. But there in lies the example of Christ, who carried the burden of our sins though He was sinless. By example, Jesus taught us to continue on no matter how heavy the day's cross seems to be. And sometimes even the little things seem to be very heavy.
  I was told today, after someone listened to some of the things that have been going on in my life, that I must be under a great deal of stress. The person perceived that I had a lot to deal with. And while I listened to the response and thought, yes, it is a lot, I must say that I don't feel as stressed out as she thought I should be.  There is some stress, but our faith is keeping us focused. My wife and I are constantly looking for the window that God has opened when a door closes, and it always seems to be there.
  If you carry a burden tonight, before going to sleep, ask Jesus, or the Blessed Mother, or your favorite Saint, to help you recognize the open window and acknowledge that things could be worse and the burden could be heavier. In the morning, just as we experience the light of a new day, you can experience the light of a new outlook.

Peace.

Is The Hour At Hand?

I was at the wake for a friend's loved one this evening. While I was in Spencer, I got word of his relative's death. As I visited this evening, I found out that the death was sudden. A thud in the adjourning room, and the person was gone. It reminded me of how short our lives are on the earth. I recalled my mother-in-law's passing. It was around St. Patrick's day, because she had called and asked us to join her for dinner as she had made corned beef and cabbage, but my wife and I were exhausted and told her we would be by the next day. That evening she did not answer her phone, and we assumed she was visiting cousins up the block. I will never forget the phone call I received the next day artwork, telling me she was gone. Or having to relay this information to my distraught wife.
  We really do not know when God will call us home. Our time can be short, a mere 13 years like my niece. I little longer, like my wife's mom in here fifties, or even more. But when that  time is we do not know.so we must be prepared as if the time is tomorrow, or tonight. Jesus reminds us that no one knows the time or the place. We must be ever vigilant, like the virgins with their lamps, awaiting the coming of the bridegroom.
  So how do we stay vigilant? We know deep inside that to be ready, we must have followed in the footsteps of Jesus as closely as possible. And that's not easy. We struggle every day of our life to achieve this life, but we all fall short. It is our human nature. We are not divine. We don't have that edge. We do however have a loving God who will do whatever is needed to help us and constantly forgive us and let us begin anew.
  So be ready. I believe we will all see the morning sun rise. But we should be ready, for we do not know the hour.

Peace

Deacon is Speakin' Again

Hello everyone. I am happy to say the Deacon's Speakin' is back from its hiatus. This happens to most preachers. As one shares thoughts and reflections, seeds of doubt are sometimes born as to whether anyone might be listening. Sometimes I wonder if anyone actually reads the posts, since most of the feedback is just a touch of the like button on Facebook. Are people just being nice or are they really getting something out of this sharing. It is these thoughts that allow evil to sneak in and develop those same ideas, and in essence stop the message from happening.
  This is what happened to me. I allowed my thoughts of insecurity and futility to fester and grow. These led me to the belief that no one was listening and these posts were not worthwhile.
  Thank you to the many people who dropped me a line in the past few weeks to ask what happened. It has made me realize that I opened the door to this doubt and Satan ran with it. To my friend from grammar school, yes, the deacon is speakin again!
  This is what we allow to happening in our lives each day if we doubt the plan God has for us. If we lose sight of our calling as disciples of the one risen Lord by right of our baptism. We hesitate. We doubt. We think about giving up. And Satan steps in and helps us along that path. It is the stumbling that we do over and over again as we strive for perfection in our faith. Time to shake the dust from the sandals and move on again.
  When Jesus was tempted in the desert, He rose above the temptation and stayed the course that the Father had laid out for Him. We need to call upon that same strength.
   Many years ago, when St. Pius X was ordained a priest, he arrived at his appointed parish to take over as pastor. There was only a church. No rectory or residence awaited him. A kind family of the parish took him in and let him stay in a room above their home until his own residence was completed. Years later, when Pius had been elected Pope, the family visited him. Pius felt he needed to give them something special since they had opened the hearts in kindness to him. He removed his zuchetto, the small, yarmulke  like hat the pope wears, and gave it to them. All these years later, members of that family retain pieces of the zuchetto that they shared. These were my ancestors and Pius has been watching over me since I started the road to ordination. The piece of his zuchetto sits in a prominent place in our home. I find it no coincidence that today was the day I was moved to begin blogging again. Today is the feast of St. Pius X.
   God's plan never ceases. He constantly calls us to it. And we may stray. And we may get lost. And we may fail. But the love of God, and those who have gone before us in the faith, is strong enough to call us back.
  Stay strong in the faith. And pray for guidance. Pray to God. pray to Jesus. Pray to the Blessed Mother. Pray to the Saints.

Peace

As Easy as Pushing a Button?

I was headed on the three A.M. Train to Williamsburg, Virginia to spend the July fourth holiday. As a perused my Facebook news feed, there it was, staring me in the face. What good luck! Could it really be true?! Is it really that easy? Just push a button?
   It stood before me. One of my favorite pictures of Jesus on the right, hugging a person who has just entered the kingdom of heaven. On the left, a high cliff with lost souls throwing themselves off into the fires of hell. 'Type 1 for salvation, 2 for damnation' it read. So all I need to do is type 1? No following the life that Jesus led? No following the command he gave to the 72 followers?
  Well, if only it was that easy, but today's gospel tells us otherwise. Jesus makes it very clear that He sends each one of us into the world to preach the arrival of the kingdom. And each of us is entrusted to cast out demons and save souls, demons of greed and other addictions, false prophesies of society and harmful life choices. And we are told to not revel in the miracle of saving others because it is not ourselves who are doing these things, but the Spirit. We are to remain humble, as Pope Francis has told his clergy this week, and be thankful that we are already entrusted to the father's house.
  So how do we do these things? Do we stand on the street corner on a soapbox and read bible passages? I suppose one could, but it is in how we live our lives. As people interact with us or pass by where we are standing, do they see Jesus? Do our actions, siting the old adage of speaking louder that words, actually follow what we profess? These are questions we need to revisit again and again and, even if we are falling short, inspire us to make a new effort to reach these ideals.
  The seventy-two are not named in the bible. We are those people. Unnamed, unknowns. Simply living and preaching the good news of Christ resurrected. And though this is more difficult than pushing a button, the rewards are greater than we can imagine.
  I will say this. I typed a one. Can't hurt to be safe. But I rather think that it didn't matter to Jesus what I typed, but rather what I lived.

Peace.

Summer Sun and God's love

I love the summer. I love being able to sit outside in the gentle summer breeze and feel the warmth of the sun on my face. As I close my eyes, the feeling reminds me of God's powerful love. I also love the summer for summer vacation and no school! But that is another feeling.

  God shows us His love in so many ways. The situation I described above. The movement of the clouds if you take the time to watch it. The signing of birds. The love of others. We just need to open our hearts and be ready to receive it. And there is the catch. In this busy world where we are constantly on the run, trying to get to work, to home, to the kids soccer game, to the sale, we leave little time for reflection, or solitude. Yet this is perhaps the most vital time for our spiritual wellness. Recall that Jesus reminded us to pray to the Father in the quiet of our room, not where it can be a show to others. Now I do not think that was meant to be the only way to pray. I find great joy in joining in prayer with others at mass and other liturgies. But I do believe it was meant to help us understand how vital it is to remove ourselves from life's distractions so that we can hear the voice of God.

As summer time is upon us, this time of relaxation and vacations, we may be in the best situation to take advantage of theses chances. Perhaps this will wallow us to understand the importance and change our lives so that we always get these chances. Lord knows I am guilty of not finding these chances. Hence why it has been so long between posts. But I hope to find the time to post more regularly as well, since these posts tend to follow my quiet time of prayer with God.  Find your quiet time and, if you like, let us know here how it changes your life.

Peace

Our Fathers

Let me first take the time to wish all fathers a very blessed and happy Father's Day. I hope you all enjoyed your day, got some rest, and got some family pampering time. It takes a lot to be a good parent and moms and dads deserve some recognition for trying their best. I got some wonderful cards and phone calls for Father's Day. I also received a few gifts that I am thoroughly enjoying. But I received an unexpected gift as well. Yesterday, as a teased my son about the cleanliness of his car, he decided it would be a good time to clean it out. I went up to our apartment and, several minutes later he walked in carrying a large folder. He announced that, "we really had not finished unpacking because he found this." From the folder he removed a large photograph of his grandfather, my dad, that used to hang in the office of my accounting and insurance business that a formerly ran with my brother. Isn't it interesting that dad chose to make this appearance on Fathers Day.
  Now some people may say this is coincidence, but I beg to differ. I truly believe that all those ancestors of ours who have gone before us in the faith are constantly looking over us. They leave us little reminders of what the right path or choice is. And they send these little reminders to let us know they are on the lookout for us. You see a parent's love can never end, not even in death
  It is because of God's unceasing and unselfish love for each of us that we refer to God as Father. He holds for us that same kind of love as a parent for their child. It is unending and nonjudgmental. It wants everything to work in our favor and yet allows us to make our own decisions and learn and grow from our actions and choices.
  Through my Dad's life, the way he lived, I learned how to be a good, supportive father. I learned how to be a loving and considerate husband. And I learned that the needs of others are always more important than my own. I may fall short of what I learned from time to time, but when I do, I realize what I have done and make efforts to change. What my Dad taught me, is what Jesus taught us about His Father. That as we try our best, we will stumble, but get up, brush yourself off and try again. There is no giving up and no failure. Giving up is the failure.
   Thanks Dad. I know you're watching over me. And thanks for showing up this weekend especially. I'll find you a place to stay in our home.
  Happy Fathers Day everyone.

-Peace.

Hiatus over

Having finished preparing my students for regents exams and finals, I am ready to continue sharing reflections starting tonight. 

Groups of Fifty

Today we celebrate the Feast of the Body and Blood of Christ. It is a celebration of the basis of our faith, the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharistic meal. It is a belief that makes us truly Catholic. I have preached on this date every year since I was ordained and I have always spoken about the true presence of The Lord.
  As I prepare to preach today, and as I reflected on the readings, something else was intriguing me. The Holy Spirit was causing me to ponder a different view on today's readings.
  We are all very familiar with the miracle presented today. Perhaps it is the story of the loaves and the fishes that is one of the more interesting ones that we hear as children. So we know that there is no way that this small amount of food could possibly feed 5000+ people. And yet the bible passage states that all were satisfied and there was still food left over. But there is a line often skimmed over. As the apostles ask Jesus what to do, He tells them to sit in groups of 50. Why? Why can they not just sit they way they are now? Why, if someone is shy, can they not sit alone? This may makes some of the five thousand uncomfortable. After all, when we go to an event, such as a wedding or dinner dance, one of the first things we do is pick up our place seating card and then seek out who we are seated with. We try to determine if we know anyone, or are with the people we prefer. And Jesus forces them to sit with a fairly large number, assuring that though they may know a few, no one will know all.
  Would the miracle not happen if they were not seated this way? What was the purpose?
  If someone said to me that on the way to work this morning they passed a giraffe crossing the parkway, I would have a hard time believing it. But that belief changes if several, or twenty, or even fifty people witness the same fact. It also changes based on who says it. I am less likely to believe a stranger that a close relative, or someone I know is rather learned or trusted. All of these ideas are factors here.
  As this miracle takes place, the fact that there are fairly large groups sitting together makes it easier for all to experience the miracle and know the awesome power that has just touched their lives in an intimate way. And since it happens in every group, as they speak with those in each group, the truly understand that this was not some trick, since all had the same experience whoever they were with. This was an act of Godly power. Jesus revealing His divine nature.
  Ad on this feast, as well as every Sunday and Holy day, we gather as a group and experience a similar miracle first hand. We gather as ordinary bread and wine are miraculously transformed into the body and blood of the one , risen Lord. And although to non-believers this may still look like bread and wine, be understand differently. We, in the faith of our hearts, in the faith of our minds, in the faith of our souls, see not merely bread and wine. We see out Lord becoming a part of us in a most intimate way. In a way that no one else can. And even is science can not prove that Christ is present, we know better. Because we were told it was true by a learned person, a trusted person, a divine person. We were told this by our God Himself, Jesus Christ. And with the faith of a child we profess that we need no proof, because it must be true!

My Next Preaching Engagement

I will next be preaching on Sunday, June 2 at the 10:00 am and 11:45am masses at St. Joseph Church located at Fifth Street and Franklin Avenue in Garden City, NY. If you stop by, please let me know you follow the page.

Unexplainable Trinity

How does one preach about the unexplainable? This has been the dilemma of every preacher as they ponder the Holy Trinity. There is nothing that exists on earth that can be like it. There are no words man has developed that can describe it. There are no ideas that can understand it. So how does one preach on the unknown and unexplainable?
  Many of us know that St. Patrick, forever famously depicted holding his shamrock, tried using the shamrock to explain the Holy Trinity to his congregation. He explained how the shamrock, while three distinct leaves, was just one shamrock. This explanation sufficed for many years and has sprung many other examples as attempts to explain and understand the belief in a triune God.
  Other examples are: The egg. One egg, three parts. Shell, white and yolk.
                                       Water. Existing as liquid, solid and gas but always
                                                       the same chemical makeup.
All of these, while valid attempts, fall short. Each contains the same deficiency. Our belief is that God is Triune and exists always as three 'persons,' Father, Son and Spirit. Never separated. Always acting together. And in that belief, when the Word became human, though Jesus left the Father and Spirit to become man, at the same time, He remained with the Father and the Spirit. So for these examples to be valid, I should be able to split them apart and yet they will remain one!  Hmmm..... If I remove one leaf of a shamrock, it is no longer one whole.  If I separate the egg, it is pieces of one egg, but it is no longer still one. If I freeze water it is no longer liquid and gas at the same time, unless we accept that water exists independently as each and heat always as all three somewhere in our world at the same time.
   Here is where the faith of a child must kick in. For it is only through the eyes of faith that we can accept the unexplainable. It is only through the eyes of faith that we can accept the unknown. It is only through faith that we can gain understanding. Faith and prayer. Through faith and prayer we learn to accept that we are not yet complete, that we do not yet know everything. And, just as a child matures, we will learn as a people of God as we continue to mature in faith.

Life and the Mystery of God

It has been an extremely busy week. As the end of the school year approaches there are finals to be created. There are ending tests to be created. There are many late nights of senior awards, proms, senior masses, senior dinners. All designed to remind the graduating class of how important they have been to our school and how mush they will mean to us as good citizens and faithful Christians. Unfortunately, this has also impacted my ability to write on this blog. I can not believe that it has been eight days since I wrote anything here.
  When I began this blog, I was teaching in school, trying to make ends meet and had not yet been thoroughly assigned to St. Joseph parish. Since then, more than four months, I have become more involved in my new parish, more involved at my teaching job, and acquired a part time position at St. Agnes Cathedral. Who knew life would get so busy?  Well......God.
  I began writing as a way to keep in touch with those from my former parish who were seeking where I had gone. There was no announcement in the parish. No farewell party. No chance to sat goodbyes. I was just sent into the night,and suddenly gone. I am saddened at that. I admit that at first I was bitter about how it had been handled, but I am very happy with my new arrangement and new location. So I am saddened. Saddened that I. Could it say goodbye or keep in touch with everyone. Funny how life sometimes moves us a different way then e we want. But God wanted me to have a fresh start. No ties to the past, I guess. Although it would be nice for those who might want me to perform a wedding or baptism to know where to find me.
  This morning I got a wonderful compliment from a parishioner here at St Joe's. I do not know her name,but I recognized her face. She said, "Its such a pleasure to see you there on the altar. You are so human and loving toward the people around you. And when a problem arises, you just talk to the people and let them know what's happening and what to do." I knew then that  I had made myself known in this parish. I know that I have conveyed that I am approachable and will help with understanding and concern.
   So on this solemnity of Trinity Sunday, when we really consider the mystery of our God, I am awarded by the mystery of how he changes our lives and they are changed, even is we do not realize it, to help us grow in faith. Have a safe and blessed Sunday.

Peace

Hatching Catholics

I have begun to think about my new role as a confirmation coordinator. While I am excited about the possibilities when dealing with just a small section of religious education students, rather than a whole program as I have done in the past, I am awed by the sense of responsibility. Not responsibility to the parish, or pastor, although that certainly exists, but responsibility to the students. Here are young people on the verge of deciding if they will practice our faith, just call themselves Catholic, or leave our faith altogether. This is decision time and I am handed the goal of giving them enough informant so that they can make a good, well informed choice.
  Now I have always believed that  there certainly is a choice in the matter. This goes back to the gift of free will that God has given each of us. We each choose to accept God or not, to become a Christian or not, to become a fully participating Catholic or not. I also believe that those who do not fully participate do not fully understand ow much this faith can add to one's life.
  And I can understand the importance of this time for them. I remember my confirmation. Well,I remember wearing the gown and taking pictures in the yard, but I really did not understand what was being asked of me at the time. And the rest of the rite is a lost memory. So how can I make this time that they can learn to love our faith a beautiful learning moment that they will carry forever?
  The experience must be theirs. On their level. Too often, I think, we adults teach on our own level and share what we loved, only to miss the fact that the world has changed. We must move on to what the children of God seek. Tis is a more learned group. Information is at their fingertips. They not only want to know why, but also how this faith will affect their lives.
  So I begin, trying to create a new program. An out of the classroom program. Where these young people will become their own community that they will look forward to being with, just as I look forward to being with my parish community every Sunday, and my school community every week day.
  Please join me in praying that the Spirit will guide me so that I can share the spirit with them.

Peace.
 

Life Distracts from God"s Love

The alarm goes off so I jump out of bed and start my morning routine. Lunches, walk the dog, try to cram in breakfast. I am out the door before I even get a chance to do any of the other things my wife is them left to take care of. And she is on her own schedule. Fight the traffic to get to work on time. Throw together some last minute lesson ideas for classes. Run from bell to bell. Cover the extra classes for those who are not in to day. The final class bell rings, take care of the after school activities. Make the long ride home where dinner is already waiting even though my wife had a similar day. Eat, mark papers that need to be marked or just collapse on the sofa. Suddenly it is bedtime. And I haven't even acknowledged the true love of God in my life.
  Oh I managed to get in a little prayer, but the true love of God is what completes my life. The true love of God is what originally brought me to the ministry of deacon. The true love of God is the reflection of his love in the sacrament of marriage and too often I fail to remember that. And I bet there are others who do too.
   The other day there was a discussion online about removing the celibacy rule from the priesthood and I started to try to find out how that worked out in other religions. As I researched I came upon several site written by wives of ministers about their life as the minister's wife. Instead of reading these sites and trying to see how they relate to a married priest idea, I should have been paying attention to haw they related to a deacons wife.
  My wife, Mary, is the reason. A a deacon. When we first met, she was a church goer. She played in the folk group. I had turned away from Sunday mass, like most teens do. But I went to the masses that she was playing at. When we got married and were having our first daughter, it was Mary who suggested we start attending mass again as a preparation for bringing our child up in our faith. It was Mary who got involved in the music ministry again, as I sat with the children as a pew person. As the children got older, it was her involvement that led to the leader of this group asking me to get involved as well and when I first heard the word deacon, it was Mary who knew more about what a deacon was than me.
   As we went through our training to become ordained, our wives had to be single parents, if we had children. We were asked to do a great deal of studying and retreating and reflecting and our wives held down the fort at home for five years. And at the end of each year, each wife was requested to write a letter to the Bishop, allowing the deacon candidate to move forward. If my wife was not behind what I was doing, the church did not want me. And Mary wrote those letters faithfully every year.
   Now that I am ordained, my job, my ministry and many other things (other family members, etc) fight for my time and too often I lose sight of my first ministry. The ministry to my first love. The ministry of my marriage.

The New Evangelization

There has been much talk about the new evangelization in the Catholic Church. Just what is the new evangelization and how does it differ from the old evangelization or from what we were doing previously. Actually, I think many of us are afraid of that E word. Evangelization seems to bring to mind bible thumping, preaching on street corners and knocking on doors. These ideas seem uncomfortable to many of the European Heritage Catholics. It is just not the way we were brought up.
   If the message of the good news is to be spread, however, we need to embrace some change. The days of sitting quietly in the church while father tells us how to live our lives to avoid hell are quickly fading, if not already gone. Young people are looking for religion. Young people are looking for spirituality. And they are looking for views that really mean something I their lives. And their lives are busy. Constantly connected to each other, constantly and instantly in touch with the rest of the world, they thirst for something that will not just eat time, but be meaningful. How can we, faithful followers of the risen Lord, help them to understand that this word of Christ resurrected is that meaningful and life fulfilling way?
  We need to make our message meaningful. We as preachers need to make the scriptures meaningful to everyday life. And I do not mean any disrespect to any other preachers,  but I myself am not interested in the roots of the words used in the bible and their meaning. I am also not particularly interested in hearing the newest interpretation of what words actually should be written to convey the ideas of the times. I am interested in how the scriptures will help me be a better Christian. I am interested in how the scriptures can help me to be Jesus in today's world. How I can be His hands, words, love, compassion and mercy. And I believe that this is what society is seeking right now.
  Society needs to know not only that we are different, but why we choose to be different. And not in a defiant way, but in a loving, sharing, helping to understand way. With acceptance of those who are different with a smile on out face, a welcome word, and a loving attitude.
  Start small on your own. Say good morning to anyone you see with a smile on your face. You'd be surprised how people you do not know will respond with the same and in doing so, we have taken one step closer to the path of the kingdom. Let them wonder why we, followers of Jesus, greet them like a friend. And maybe, just maybe, they will seek the good news and then we can share it.
 

Holy Spirit App

One of my students in school suggested I download a list maker app so that I could carry the list of names of my students since I sometimes have trouble remembering them. The student told me it helped his grandmother out a lot! Now I like to think am not old but I use a lot of apps on my phone to keep me on time, current, and in the loop. I have the GPS app so I don't get lost, a weight watchers app so I know when to stop eating, even a confession app so I can get ready to go to confession.( if someday I can do confession on the Internet I'll probably have that one too!)
  So when I read the gospel and Jesus said that the Holy Spirit will remind us of all He taught I thought, hey, maybe there is a Holy Spirit app.  So I checked it out.
   Now there a re some apps like WWJD and the Path to Jesus that are designed for guidance, but all these apps do is quote bible verses on various days or for various needs. I was really looking for an app that would tell me the right from wrong decision immediately.

  Well, my friends, we do have that app. But it is not on the any phone or tablet. In fact, the app has been around for thousands of years if we just avail ourselves of it. It is called prayer. In this busy would, how many take the time to pray in silence and open their hearts and minds to the entry of the Spirit? There are just so many distractions. Work. Family. Society. They pull us every way and leave little time for ourselves and when we do find that time, prayer just doesn't seem to be high on most people's list. It if we take the time. Ten minutes. A half hour. Just to sit in silence and focus on opening ourselves to God, we can feel the swell of the Spirit within. We can feel a sense of calmness and peace. And in that moment of clarity, the Spirit reveals to us the answers we need at that particular fork in the road.
   So over these next few days, as the weather gets nicer and the temperature gets warmer, take ten minutes. Sit outside. Feel the warmth of the sun God created on your skin. Listen to the rustle of the trees in the gentle spring breezes. And on those breezes, hear the voice of God and the swell of the peacefulness of the Spirit within you. And use the prayer app to get the answer you are looking for.

Comfort and Wakes

This evening I had the opportunity to visit the local funeral home to perform a wake service. I always find this to be a special moment in my ministry. I head off to the home knowing that people will be there dealing with a variety of emotional issues. Anger. Sadness. Emptiness. Doubt. Fear. And somehow, I hope, that I can alleviate those feelings if only for the moments that I let the Spirit work through me. These are emotionally gratifying times. Knowing that I can bring comfort to those who may be at a low point in life or a crossroad of doubt in their faith.
  These a special moments to me because I never dealt well with death while growing up. Perhaps it was fear. Or perhaps it was the voices I was hearing as I had told my mother while a child (see previous post). Either way, I feared going to see a dead body and my parents, knowing this fact, shielded me from death altogether. I did not attend a wake until my grandmother died while I was in high school, and that's a pretty long time to avoid dealing with death. It was just that much harder.
  I have, however, come to understand this ending of life in a better way. I o longer am disturbed by it and I  certainly do not fear my own demise. I have accepted the idea of a life beyond this and absolutely know that it exists. In my prayers and visions, I have seen it and those who have gone before me have been telling me this for years, I was just never ready to hear it until now.
  So with great comfort, I bring God's message to those who need to hear it. And the events of the voices and visions? Well I don't use them in the service, they have no place there. But they do exist. In the heart of my preaching and praying for these families.

His Plan

Sometimes we feel like we are carrying the heaviest cross in the world and no one has it any harder. It is on those days, those weeks that we do not feel like starting our day, let alone getting through it. We want to hide in our little cave (our homes) and avoid anyone and everything in an attempt to avoid the inevitable, reminders of our problems.
   But life need not be that way. Life in prayer, meditation, and devotion to God allows us to understand how peace and acceptance can find itself in our hearts. And also how in this peace, the clarity to find answers and strength is restored.
  I do not think I could deal with the world without my support structure. My wife and family. My friends and coworkers. My fellow parishioners at church. And my relationship with Jesus. In each of theses people, God constantly sends me reminders of His love and dedication to my life. All I need give in return is my love, dedication and trust.
  It has never been more apparent to me that if I leave something that is troubling me at the foot of the cross, Jesus will raise me up from it and lead me on to a new life. The old adage, "let go and let God," has played a major role in all this. It is at work once again as a mini crisis looms, but I know God will pull me through, even if the outcome is not what I hope for. It is after all God's plan and it would be foolish to think I have total control. I only provide what I put in to it. God produces the result based on this and my faith.

Can Humans be Human to Each Other?

In recent news, we have seen bombings in Boston and now chemical warfare against civilians in the Middle East.  Why is it that humankind can not interact as human to human but rather with animal instinct as survival of the most powerful? It is society at its worst. It does not matter who we step on, what happens to the other person, or what means we us, as long as we get our way, our success, we win. Well it is not really we is it? It is I. That the person behind the words or actions is only interested in what he or she ultimately gets in the end. And we must be careful about lumping everyone in a particular group with those individuals.

 In His time walking among mankind, Jesus taught compassion, understanding, acceptance. In all that Jesus said and did, it was clear that the first step to conversion of belief in the one true God was allowing the individual the opportunity for a new start. To change lives and being anew. And yet society still does not get it. If I don't have the current 'correct' view, I am an extremist or right wing. I am a bigot or 'unChrist-like'. We need to remember that Jesus never condemned any for not accepting him. He would be saddened and continue to try to reach out for acceptance of the good news, but He never attacked others. Exception given for overturning the money changing tables in the temple. That's for another post.

  Even the Pharisees and Sadducees were constantly given the chance to accept the word of God. As followers of Jesus, we need to remember this not matter which side of an issue we stand for, we need to remember that on the other side stands another of Gods children. We have to remember that we have a right to agree or disagree, no matter how badly that may make us fell. And above all, we must remember that if some individuals forget this and go to extremes, it does not mean all who are on that side of the issue feel that extreme was right. We must forgive, accept and move on, else we are doomed to be visited by regret, despair, and defeat.

When the young man who desperately wanted to follow Jesus was told to give up all that he had, he turned and walked away because he could not change his life so drastically. And Jesus? He watched the man leave. he did not chase him. He did not condemn him. He did not declare him an enemy. He simply said that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. No one said following Christ would be easy. It sure hasn't been for me and my family. But we do our best. And we don't try to change our beliefs to fit our lives, we change our lives to follow our belief in the Catholic faith.

Desert

In the gospel of Mark, a blind man is brought to Jesusnand asked to have his sight restored. Jesus takes him away from every, out of the town. Jesus then spits on the man's eyes and He then asks the man if he can see. The response is that he can make out shapes but not clearly. The people look like trees, he says. Jesus does this action a second time and then the man's sight is restored.

 One might be tempted to say why, if Jesus is the messiah,did the first attempt to heal the blind man fail? It certainly appears that way doesn't it? It seems Jesus slipped up. But there are some very important ideas here that I find intriguing and exciting. And comforting.

Note that Jesus takes this man away from everyone,. Away from the town. Away from his job. Away from his home. Jesus takes him to the silence of the desert area outside the town walls. In the silence he is left alone with The Lord to truly find Jesus and here His voice.
  And then there is that failure thing. Remember that every time someone is cured Jesus never says,'there you go! I did it again!' He always tells the stricken that they have been healed by their faith. So there in lies the failure. That the man's faith was not yet fully matured, not yet fully ready for the entire healing process. He was not yet ready to see through the eyes of God.
  How great is that? That if we are not fully ready, if we still have a way to going our journey of finding God in this life, that Jesus will keep healing us over and over again until we can see as the Father, love as the Father, Live as the Father. And notice that this passage seems to emphasize that time alone with Jesus is necessary to get that process moving.

We must take the time out of our busy lives to pray. Away from our friends. Away from our jobs. Away from our cities. Away from our noise. We must find the silence of our deserted place and let Jesus being to heal us, for we all need some healing. After all, as one man once told me, the church is not filled with holy people, because if that is what the church is for, it would be empty. The church is filled with sinners trying to change their lives. Trying to be the best people they can be. Trying to help others achieve that same goal. Trying to find their deserted place.

The Good Shepherd

Today is good shepherd Sunday. The gospel reading speaks of Jesus taking care of his followers. But we need to understand the role of the shepherd, especially in the time in which the gospel was written.

  Those who tended sheep were the sole source of protection and guidance for their herd. They spent every waking and sleeping, hour with their sheep.their sheep became family. And the sheep responded. The herd knew the voice of their shepherd and when he would call, they would respond to his voice only, no matter how many other shepherds were calling herds. The herd would be protected at night in a cave and the shepherd himself would sleep across the entrance to the cave so that non of his herd could leave without waking him and nothing could enter without waking him. In essence, he was the gateway in and out.

Jesus is still our gateway. We affirm that Jesus is the way. That He is the good shepherd protecting us from this world's evils and leading us to a new and better life. But we need to respond to his voice in a day and age where many voices call out to us. The voices of society tell us all about what we should believe and how we should live and they try to yell louder than our shepherd's voice. The voices inside of us: regret, fear,failure, defeat, uncertainty yell just as loud in a desperate attempt to disrupt the peacefulness of out master's voice.
  We must strain to hear His call. To take moments of silence and listen for the whisper amid the storm that is Jesus beckoning us along the way, His way. We must pray, reflect, and respond.

Do You Love Me?

In today's gospel, Jesus appears again to His disciples post Resurrection. The disciples have gone fishing and Jesus is at the shore. There are a lot of things going on in this passage. Many of them seem to be minor type comments, but they are very meaningful facts. The disciples find Jesus cooking breakfast for them. Seems Jesus is always feeding his followers doesn't it? And why not? We are still fed by him through the Eucharist as he prepares us to be commissioned each week just as He prepared His followers in today's gospel.
  Then there is that little tidbit of exactly 153 fish. This may relate to Jewish numerology, but I rather like the following idea: the disciples were called to be fishers of men, all men. (Women and children too but as we know the bible is written in the male person). At the time of the resurrection there were exactly 153 known species of fish in the world. So perhaps the fish symbolized all inhabitants of the world. I kind of like that idea since we are told to accept everyone by the gospel regardless of their short comings or former life and teach them this new life in Christ.
  And, of course, there is the request of Peter. Do you love me? Three times even! Why three? Well, we know that Peter denied knowing Jesus three times, and this disturbed Peter so much, that he wept bitterly. But her is Jesus, asking Peter three times to reconcile for that past denials. A perfect example of ow God is constantly giving us a chance to heal our relationship with Him and continue anew, tending His flock.
   So now what? What does this mean for the new week and our own lives?
   Jesus has fed us at mass with His word and Body so that we will be strengthened to go out into the world, into our workplaces, onto the buses and subways, streets and avenues cities and countrysides. We have been prepared to reach out to all people we meet and to offer the good news of a loving, merciful, forgiving God who will never give up on any of us and always offer us the chance to turn into His loving arms and say, "I may not always show it Lord, but you know I love you."

Interference

Life can get extremely busy, as I have found out the past few days. While trying to write on my blog, which helps and uplifts me spiritually, many things in my current situation continued to get in the way. Requirements from my job, information gathering for my new job, preparing for an upcoming retreat, not to mention household and family needs, left little time for writing. Thank God for prayer.
  Now I have to wonder if this busy lifestyle that we create for ourselves is the work of other forces trying to keep us from hearing God's voice. I can't help thinking back to Jeremiah on the mountain, seeking God's call. Al kinds of storms with lightning, high winds and heavy rains kept coming as he was listening for the Father's voice. But when the voice came, it was as a quiet whisper on a gentle breeze, which would have been drowned out by all those other events.
  We keep ourselves so busy, that we do not leave time to spend with God. Even we we take our hour on Sunday, it may not happen. There is always a cell phone honing off during services. We can't get away from the distractions. So what is the answer?
  The answer is to take time to shut it all down. As I look toward a retreat this week, I am looking forward to concentrating on my own spiritual well being. My wife is currently taking care of her own spiritual well being this weekend . And if you can't spare a few days? How about an evening. Pick a night, shut off the phone, the television, the radio. Even for just a few hours and read the bible. Yeah, that book that you probably have somewhere in the house. Pick a passage and think about how it relates to your life. And hear the voice in the quiet breeze.

Let Go

You condemned the rich, Lord Jesus, because they have already received their reward, and you proclaimed the poor blessed because the kingdom of heaven is theirs. Teach us to seek for imperishable goods and to have confidence in your blood, poured out as the price of our redemption.

These days it's a bit hard to not seek riches. Things cost a great deal of money in this age, even if one just wants to get by. It is because of this fact that one can lose sight of what is really the more satisfying rewards.
Several months ago, my wife and I had to deal with the stark reality that the economy was taking its toll on us. I had a part time job in addition to teaching that I lost, due mostly to financial restructuring. This prompted a great deal of upheaval in our lives. We had to sell our house, simply because we could not meet the mortgage without the other income. My mom, who had moved in with us, was forced to go to a senior living facility. Mary and I moved to an apartment. This resulted in my switching dioceses and assignments as deacon. It was a bit unnerving to say the least. I had no idea if the move would even help. I was unsure if we could afford the new home, since my masters student loan was kicking in and had to be paid.  But we put our trust in God. We just trusted that everything would work out.
  Well, it has been almost nine months we are here. Things were a bit rocky as money became tight, but God provided. We have a lovely apartment. The new parish has accepted me with open arms. And, to top it off, a new part time position was offered and acquired that will give our budget a little breathing room.
    I can't help but feel that if we did not trust in Gods plan, and just concentrated on this life, things would have been more difficult. And the added bonus? I feel closer to my wife than I have in years, because we have more time to spend together. And there is one of those intangible rewards.
  So place your worries at the foot of the cross, whether they are emotional, monetary, or physical. As the saying goes, let go and let God.

The Doubting and The Divine

Today we celebrate the feast of the divine mercy. This day was established by Blessed John Paul II due to his own personal devotion to the visions of St.  Faustina Kowalska.  we celebrate the Father's mercy. What is mercy? Mercy is defined as showing compassion and kindness and releasing someone of a distress even if it is undeserved.
   We also hear, today, the story of the apostle Thomas after the resurrection. The story that labeled him as doubting Thomas throughout history. I remember a priest friend, Fr. Ed, who referred to this day as doubting Thomas Sunday. Interestingly, doubt is defined as a time of unsureness  or distress over a situation or possible fact. Hmm, there is that word distress again. So perhaps the relieving of Thomas's distress over his faith in the risen Christ is an example of God's divine mercy? Of course it is.
  St. Paul writes in his letter to the Ephesians that God in His mercy raised us, from the dead life we had through our trespasses, to new life with the gift of the risen Christ. So this scene that plays out of Thomas, depicts ourselves and our own reception of God's mercy.
  Let's think about all of this. Many have doubted the basis of our faith. That may even be true for some of us. Doubters will ask what proof we have of the resurrection other than these stories in the bible. Some have suggested this was all a great hoax to keep the followers of Jesus as followers of the apostles.
   Now if I were one of the apostles writing this story, I think I would have been a little kinder to myself. Throughout Jesus' ministry, the apostles never seem to get the real message of Jesus' mission. Jesus repeatedly tries to help them understand, but it never gets through their thick skulls. And now, after the crucifixion, they still don't get it. His body is gone and instead of understanding, they hide away in the upper room in fear and despair. Add to that the sudden turn around in their lives from that hiding to putting their lives on the line. I'm not sure someone would die for a hoax.
 But doubters would say they need physical proof, like an appearance. So here we are, followers of Jesus, gathered in this large room together, having the same belief in the risen Christ that others will doubt. And no matter how much we can say, how much we can relate what we believe, they will stand in our midst and utter those same words as Thomas, about absolute truth.
  And in God's divine mercy, Jesus will appear. We know it through our faith. He appears when we are together, today, in the real presence of the Eucharist. For, you see, poor Thomas, never really did not believe. He just had a moment of doubt. And in mercy was granted what was needed to help him understand because he never lost faith, just looked for confirmation. And we, who have faith, receive that confirmation today, in the body and blood of the risen king. And for those doubters, they too can receive the gift of faith through the mercy of our Father. All they need do is open their hearts to his divine mercy, and their eyes will be opened to His divine presence.

God's Calling

People have often asked me why I became a deacon. Was there a specific reason? Was there a calling? Initially, when these question began to be proposed to me, I responded that there was a calling of sorts back in grammar school. I had thoughts of the priesthood since then. But after a visit this week with my mother, I was reminded of a calling much earlier than this.

Let me begin with the first comment. As we were closing in on graduation from St. Robert Bellarmine School in Bayside, New York, the priests came to the classroom and spoke with the boys about the priesthood. If it was a consideration, we were encouraged to go the Cathedral Preparatory High Scool Seminary. Here was an all boy school with a student base of young men who were considering the priesthood as an option. I was intrigued. In fact I sort of thought the idea was  kind of interesting, serving God's people. However, there were other pressures to go elsewhere. My parents were not sure if the priesthood was right. At that time I had a problem dealing with death, so perhaps that was a consideration. I also had the I intrigue of the opposite sex, and that was a totally different consideration. I chose St Francis Prep High School.

At St. Francis, during junior year, I was considering the priesthood again. I began to speak with Msgr.  Coney, then Fr. Cooney, about the possibility. I was meeting with him on a not so regular basis. At that same time, I began to date a young lady,who would eventually become my wife. Fr. Jim  thought that perhaps my interest in the priesthood was not as exclusive as it should be and advised me to wait. I had no problem with that, since I had fallen in love with my future wife and was not sure how to tell him this.

Mary and I attended the same college, married right after and started our family. Years later, while we were both active in the parish music ministry, I heard a description of the ministry of deacon at a mass on vocation Sunday. I was intrigued and Mary supported my desire to check it out. The rest, as they say, is history.

But here the story does not end. After ordination. After my run in with dark figures (see earlier post). I began to see faces and events in my mind as I prepared for sleep. These are people I had never seen before and I events that I do not recognize. I have tried relating them to my own life experiences or thoughts at the time, but there is o connection and they are never the same. Up until recently, I was an observer of a silent show. The events would take place, but I would see them and here nothing. I have discussed this with several people, priests and lay persons, and my conclusion is that Godis sending these to me for a reason, I just have not understood what that reason is yet.

Now here is the interesting part. While visiting my mother, she reminded me that I could ot sleep well when I was younger. She said I complained that as I tried to go to sleep I would hear voices. Suddenly I saw a connection. I had forgotten this fact and immediately related the recalled events with theses new mages I am seeing. And, perhaps there in was my problem dealing with death.

Although I am still trying to make sense of all this, me thing has e come extremely clear to me. God called me at a very young age. The plan was always for me to be in His service. And the call continues. I am just on a very slow path to discerning what that call fully means.

So perhaps you too are called by God. Perhaps. You too are having a hard time hearing or nderstanding His voice. Perhaps you too should sit in the stillness and pray, 'O Lord, what are you trying to tell me today?' I pray this at night, and He continues to to tell me, I just need to continue to try to understand.

The Narrow Way

“The Narrow Gate. * “Enter through the narrow gate;* for the gate is wide and the road broad that leads to destruction, and those who enter through it are many. How narrow the gate and constricted the road that leads to life. And those who find it are few.”

This is the statement that Jesus made to His followers regarding the path to everlasting life. I can't help but think how our society keeps trying to construct its own path to eternal life, widening the ideals that Jesus set forth by trying to reinterpret Christ's words.

Now I understand that there has to be some interpretation of scripture based on the time frame in which the events took place. I agree that the parables were based on the understanding of the time and need to be interpreted as to how the message speaks to us today. But in this passage, these are direct words. Jesus tells us that the way is not easy. Jesus tells us that it is a tight line to toe to get to heaven. So why is it that mankind keeps trying to reinvent how narrow the path really is?

Society will have us believe that we can change the requirements based on current times, current trends, new information, better knowledge. In some aspects this may be so. But the root of our entry to heaven is how we live our lives, and do we follow Jesus' way.

Yes, Jesus called us to love one another and accept the downtrodden and outcasts. But there is an aspect here that many fail to acknowledge. When tax collectors, prostitutes, thieves and lepers were called to follow, they were also asked to change their lives. To tax collectors, Jesus asked them to extort no more money, only collect what had to be collected. To thieves and prostitutes, He asked of them to sin no more, no more theft or adultery.  To the lepers and the blind, He healed them thus changing them from their former lives. He did not adapt the way. He did make following the path to eternal life easier for them because they were different, or in a different situation. He simply prepared them to follow His way.

This is why it so difficult for us to follow the narrow path. We are humans and prone to stumbling and society keeps throwing more things in our path. And all of us, you, me, ordained, non-ordained, struggle with this journey every day of our lives. The best we can do is keep trying to stay on the path and helping each other to stay on the path. How? By sharing the love of God first, that all are welcome. Then, by sharing the calling of God, that our lives are changed.

I Am Not Worthy

Lord I am not worthy for you to enter under my roof. These are some of the new words that have ow become so natural for all of us as we attend mass. It recalls the song of years ago

O Lord I am not worthy
That Thou should'st come to me,
But speak the words of comfort,
My spirit healed shall be. 

These words should be the beginning of any repentance. I have spoken of forgiveness previously, but to receive forgiveness, one must first repent. To truly be sorry for an action or thought. It is this, and only this, that places us in the proper ideal of humbleness in which we can be ready to ask and receive forgiveness. We have all had the experience of a friend or loved one saying they are sorry, but in the tone of voice or action, we can see that they really do not believe their own words. They may be saying theses things to move on, but the forgiveness is not there. In a similar way, if we seek forgiveness, we must truly want it. To ask for forgiveness when we see nothing wrong in what we have done or said gains nothing.
  Anyone who was forgiven by Jesus or was healed by Jesus did so because of their own faith in Him.
They were ready to receive what they sought. The understood their own unworthiness and that the forgiveness and healing was at the option of our Lord. This is the same for us, whether we seek forgiveness from God or from a friend or loved one. We need to understand that the option of forgiveness is from whom we ask it, and we are unworthy to just take it. 
  So we try to live our lives knowing we will always be unworthy. We try to live knowing we should always be humble. But if we do, we will hear words of comfort from others as well as Jesus. And our spirit will be healed and at peace.

Where Are You in Your Faith Journey?

On the first day of the week,

Mary of Magdala came to the tomb early in the morning,

while it was still dark,

and saw the stone removed from the tomb.

So she ran and went to Simon Peter

and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and told them,

"They have taken the Lord from the tomb,

and we don't know where they put him."

So Peter and the other disciple went out and came to the tomb.

They both ran, but the other disciple ran faster than Peter

and arrived at the tomb first;

he bent down and saw the burial cloths there, but did not go in.

When Simon Peter arrived after him,

he went into the tomb and saw the burial cloths there,

and the cloth that had covered his head,

not with the burial cloths but rolled up in a separate place.

Then the other disciple also went in,

the one who had arrived at the tomb first,

and he saw and believed.

For they did not yet understand the Scripture

that he had to rise from the dead.

So which of the people in today's gospel do you relate with? 

Are you Mary, who has found the tomb empty but does not realize what has happened? Have you accepted the belief in Jesus but not truly the resurrection and what it means to us? 

Are you the unnamed disciple, who is on the verge of total acceptance of our risen Lord, but stops just short of experiencing the whole resurrection and its glory? Have you stopped outside the tomb, not quite there yet?

Are you Simon Peter, who has the courage to embrace the risen  Lord and make the tomb entrance, letting him become a party our life in a total and new way that maybe a bit alarming and hard to understand?

The truth is that each of us is all of these. At various times n our life we become the one who does not grasp the faith,  or the one that doubts the faith,or the one that has the boldness of pure acceptance. Our faith journey is just that, a constant trek through this world in the hope of coming ever closer to a true experience of God. It is why we consider ourselves the Pilgrim Church, since our journey will never end until we are at home with the Father. And just as we, when we are children, when we are young adults, when we are adults middle and senior age, we make choices and learn and grow from those choices. And at any moment in our lives these choices lead us to be the person who is far from the tomb, or the person who is almost at the tomb, or the person who has reached that goal. 

Easter gives us the chance to move closer to the tomb. The tomb that no longer holds death snide, but rather the glorious light of a new light, a new life, in Christ Jesus. Keep journeying toward the tomb, wherever you currently may be. And never lose hope. Always have hope in an Easter morning.

Have a blessed Easter.

What If...

Today is the evening before my 51st birthday. I sometimes wonder how I got to where I am in life right now. What if I had chosen a different path? A different career? Would my life be so different? Then I realize that God's plan was that I would be right where I am now, so none of that wondering matters. It never would have happened. I am convinced that God has a plan for us from the day we are born. His divine plan was always for me to be a deacon. Was always for me to touch people with his word through my preaching. Here is how I am sure:
 
I was dating my wife and had been visiting her and her parents one evening. She had gone to bed and I stayed with her mom and dad watching a television show until it was complete. When I left, it was rather late. As I drove home, I guess my mind started to wander and, as I sped along the Long Island Expressway, I did not notice the car that was stopped in the right hand lane, which I was traveling in. When I did come to my senses, I swerved right, off of the road and onto the shoulder, around the car and back onto the expressway. I did not even think, I just swerved. There could have been a wall, or overpass there, but there was not. I could have hit the car, but I did not. God saved me that night because he needed me here now.

Years later, with my wife and child in the car, I had a similar experience as traffic ahead of us was at a stand still. My wife called out my name and again, without thinking, I just swerved  left into the other lane of traffic. Again God kept me, and my family this time, safe. There was no car next to us. If there was I would not have seen it and it would have been a terrible accident.

I am sure others have had similar experiences, but I can only believe that God always has a plan. We may not recognize it. We may not like it. But we live it.
Just as on that first Easter, God's plan was to end the grasp of death for us through the resurrection, there is always a glorification awaiting us. Some may be greater than others, but they await us. So never despair. Never give up hope. Never stop loving. Never stop being kind and compassionate. For the glory awaits us all.

Happy Easter.

The Darkness of Evil surrounds Us

Many people speak about evil in the world. They speak about evil ideas and evil people. Of those who will  plot death and destruction against other people and other beliefs. But the force behind these evils is the Prince of Lies, the King of Darkness, Satan. Now some may say Satan does not exist. That evil exists as a feeling or emotion or desire, but not personified. Perhaps, but please read on.

  It was the evening before a big event. The young man was about to be ordained and as he slept his mind was dreaming of what was to come. What would his life of service be like? Would he be accepted by those he would be asked to spiritually lead? Could he always see the needs of others before his own? How would this life affect his family? Then the thought came into the dream....is this the right choice?
    At this he was startled awake only to see, standing at the foot of his bed, a tall dark figure. The figure did not speak but rather just loomed over his bed. Jumping out of bed he tried his best to hit the figure with a punch only to see the figure gone. His wife sat up in the bed next to him and asked if everything was alright. Not sure, he explained what he had seen and they both returned to sleep.

 Interesting story isn't it. The next day, I was ordained a deacon. Yes, Satan is at every turn hoping we will turn against God's service. Pray, and be thankful that Jesus died on the cross so we could be released from this grasp.

Home for the Holiday

After 51 years I finally got my chance to attend a Seder meal. A good friend of my wife invited us to her home. Maybe it was not as traditional as others, but it was a learning experience for me. During the day people had told me that I should eat before I went because the food was not so good, but I did not. I enjoyed the service, even if it was abbreviated. I learned what all the symbolism was about, thanks Marcie and Sue. And I got a little better understanding of what was the development of our shared meal, the Eucharist.
  In the middle of the meal, the woman next to me found out I was a deacon and asked a question. "So while Jesus was entering Jerusalem , was Moses in Egypt freeing the Jews?" I was a bit confused. She had mentioned that all she did was read the bible. I was not sure that anyone would actually think Moses and Jesus were a on earth at the same time.
  This has to make one wonder whether people are fully educated in our faith. What does the would know about us? A comment was made about hell and it was said that Jews do not believe in hell, at least not with the devil and a pitchfork. Yet neither do Catholics. Our belief is that hell is an eternal life separated from God's loving presence. We have a long way to go.
  We need to fully understand our own heritage as followers of the way. Yet how can this be done when so many stop attending mass. Since mass is where most of us will encounter the scripture and an explanation, my guess is that the majority of Catholics do not sit at home reading the bible, how will we ever fully understand who we are as Catholics and what we profess to believe by calling ourselves Catholic?
  It is time for Catholics to come home. Not just on the special days of Palm Sunday, Ash Wednesday , Easter Sunday and Christmas, but everyday. It is time for each of us to reach out to those who have left behind our communal prayer and gathering in the belief that it is unnecessary. It is time for those who understand how necessary this gathering is to share that belief with those who do not understand. It is time, especially as Easter Sunday is upon us, to begin a new day of enlightenment in our churches. Use the humbleness of our new pontiff as a way of showing people the love that can be felt in our community and bring a friend or loved one back home.

Singing in the Dark

READING Acts 13:26-30

My brothers, it was to us that this message of salvation was sent forth. The inhabitants of Jerusalem and their rulers failed to recognize him, and in condemning him they fulfilled the words of the prophets which we read Sabbath after Sabbath. Even though they found no charge against him which deserved death, they begged Pilate to have him executed. Once they had thus brought about all that had been written of him, they took him down from the tree and laid him in a tomb. Yet God raised him from the dead.

  Now is the time, my friends, to remember that the darkest days can never have a hold on us. We may feel at the end of our rope. We may feel we have nowhere to turn. We may feel that we can not breathe. But our hope lies in the events we recall in these coming days. That faced with death, the event that no one could believe would be overcome, Jesus was put to death for our sins and conquered the grave. Of this we are certain and, despite historians and scientists trying to prove the contrary, no one has proven it did not happen. In fact, some scientists, after examining the shroud, believe that something of great energy took place that left the impression there.
   Hmm. What could that be? Perhaps the power of God? God will never forsake us as long as we have Him on our side. And to have Him with us is simple. Believe. Love. Hope.
  My favorite quote is from The Lord of the Rings trilogy. No, it s not in the insightfulness of Gandalf. It is in the words of one of the ordinary, not necessarily brightest, of characters. Samwise Gamgee. I love Sam, because I think he is a good representation of each of us. Simple at heart. Sometimes failing. But never giving up. Faced with darkness, Sam declares, "It is never so dark that we can not sing!" We celebrate with song the end of darkness and death because of the resurrection. And we must always remember that faced with anything: sickness, poverty, anger, fear, even death itself, we can always sing. Because it can never be that dark as long as the light of Christ's love is in our hearts and warming our souls.

I have received the great gift of being able to relive the Gospel story we will hear next week over and over for the last few days. The school musical this year is Godspell, a show I fell in love with many years ago when my wife was part of the performance as we were dating. Once again, I have received a gift through this play as I get to hear the story of God's word made flesh over and over again at each practice. I can't help but think of how this play influenced the way I preach.  The play takes the gospel of Matthew and acts it out in a more modern way. My goal in preaching has always been to link the gospel with daily life.
   If we can not see how living the gospel will change our lives, we are lost. This goal was presented to me as more of a challenge by a fellow parishioner. As I studied for ordination, Beatrice once told me how she would leave the church after mass and get more out of listening to the non-Catholic sermons on the television or radio. She said to me, "When you preach, give me something I can take home and use till next week." I have never forgotten that statement. So each time I am preaching, I carefully read the scripture for that day,and wait for God to send me an idea about what the message should be.
  So this weekend, we hear the glory of Jerusalem, and the passion of The Lord. What does it mean for our daily lives. Maybe you've heard a few of  the themes. There is a glorification at the end of every suffering. Jesus suffered death to give us life. Both true and correct. But I like to focus on Christ's own words, "Father, forgive them." I pray and hope that he can use them every time I do a misdeed, or have a poor thought, or ignore what should be done or said. And I hope, that Jesus can fill my heart with that same wisdom. To be able to forgive in spite of how I may feel.. If we can take this with us this week, every week, we will be better people, better Christians, and a better world.

Temptation and forgiveness

We move ever closer to Palm Sunday and Christ's triumphant entry into Jerusalem. Only days later will this same crowd turn against Him at the urging of the current religious leaders. And Jesus is aware of this as He was aware of all things. But He went forward knowing that although suffering and death awaited, the glorification that would come after far outweighed any of this.
  Several years ago, there was great opposition to the film 'The Last Temptation of Christ.' In the film, Christ marries Mary Magdelene, and this was the basis of the protest. But I have watched the movie, and the marriage to Mary is taken out of context. As Christ is on the cross, the last temptation is to use His power to avoid His death. As the movie progresses, Christ comes down from the cross, not ready to die, and walks away to live the rest of a human life. He then marries Mary, has a family and works in society. But He sees how much anger, bitterness, sufferings are in the world and what was not overcome by His changing His destiny. We are then brought back to the cross, finding that this was only Jesus' thoughts and never really happened. He had seen what the world would become without salvation and has overcome the temptation.
  Many times, we are tempted not to follow our faith. We are tempted to put ourselves first. We are tempted by power, materialism, some of the same things that Satan tempted Jesus with while in the desert. And many times we give in, letting our own temptations get the better of us. How can we be so weak? How can we fail so often? How can we be so easily swayed despite our best intentions?  The answer is simple. It is our human frailty.
  But we have a loving God. A merciful God. A forgiving God. And just as the prodigal son realized his mistakes and returned home to find a father who never stopped loving and caring for him, so does our Father in heaven love and care for us.
   Temptations surround us at every turn, but as long as we keep trying, Jesus will be right there with us, to cast away those who would condemn us and speak the same words we heard this Sunday, "Go and sin no more."

The People Who Make Us See Jesus

This weekend, many are celebrating, especially Irish Catholics. The feast of St. Patrick holds a special place for them. But in our family, this day holds a difference place of prominence. It is a day of sadness and remembrance because we lost one of the brightest lights in our family, my wife's mother Frances. She died the evening of St Patrick's day after enjoying a corned beef and cabbage dinner. She is dearly missed.
  She was one person who had a great affect on my life, and not just because she gave life to my loving wife. She taught me, in the way she lived and looked at life, much of what I have come to understand  about the bible and Jesus. A devout follower of Christ, she never lost her faith even if as her husband suffered she became disenchanted with the church. She had a way of helping others see both sides of a situation, and many times helped Mary and I through some rough times with family relations. I will always remember her smile and her sense of humor, and it is that same sense of humor and views on life that I have referred to in my homilies many times. From her unique nativity set, to always being ready to have another person at the dinner table; from an apartment packed to the gills for the holiday because gathering to celebrate and serving others was important to her, to her desire to enjoy life; I was changed so I would be accepting of this call to ministry. She helped my face the death of my grandmother, something that I was having trouble with because I had always been shielded from death. I wonder how much fuller our lives would have been had she not died at such an early age.
  I see her in my wife who is the source of my inspiration. I forget this sometimes. Many of my homilies that people have said touched their hearts were ideas that developed because my wife and I spoke about them. My ideas become combined with hers and a message is created. Yet all the accolades are directed at me. I don't think I could do this ministry, in fact I know I couldn't do this ministry, without her.
   So as everyone else celebrates, we will quietly remember Frances. Strong, loving, insightful, compassionate. We love you mom.

Pope Francis I

Today marks an historical moment in the history of the Catholic Church. Anytime a new Pope is elected, the church starts on a new path. The images swirl in every mind. What will he be like? Will he make any changes? How will he compare to others who preceded him (especially JP2).
  Of course, there are other ideas also flowing. He is no good for the church. He is too conservative. This will change nothing.
   It amazes me how some can look forward in awe realizing that we may not fully understand God's plan while other are ready to condemn this man before he even starts his papacy. If anyone thought that any of the cardinals elected would step in and suddenly make sweeping changes, they were kidding only themselves. History has proven that the church changes at its own pace. That may be too slow for many of us, but just the right pace for God.
  Let us look to some indicators. He is Francis I, in honor of St Francis of Assisi, whom God commissioned to rebuild the church. That says a great deal. And to look at the past does not mean he has not heard the cries of others. John Paul I was rather conservative, but was not so in his short papacy. Let us wait and judge on actions instead of speculation.
  I have to say that while it was a time filled with anticipation of a new pope, this was also a time of sadness and concern for me. As I looked at some of the comments on the Internet websites, on Facebook, and listened on the radio and to people around me, it is VERY apparent that there is a lot of bitterness and anger regarding much church policy. I hope and pray that these feelings are not keeping those who harbor them from Jesus. Certainly the church has room for change. It is an institution started by Jesus but run by human beings, with all their shortcomings. But do not lose sight of the true belief, that Jesus suffered, died and rose from the grave to give us eternal life and free us from sin.
  I will keep my belief in eternal life. And while I too have a desire for some things to change, I will hold them quietly in my heart, just as the Blessed Mother did as she watched her son crucified. She new a greater and more glorifying day lay ahead. Let us wait patient for that day as well.

Someday

 The father realized that it was at that very hour when Jesus had told him: Your son will live; and he and all his household became believers.

Has Jesus spoken to you yet? We're you listening?

As each day goes by, another opportunity is presented to us to have an intimate encounter with the risen Christ. Jesus it at every turn, every step, every moment, I every encounter. Yet we may never hear his words or recognize these chances of grace. Our lives are filled with stress, burdens, needs and worries. Mix these with the noise that society places in our ears and it becomes very easy to miss the presence of Jesus in this chaos we call a sane life.
   The news tells us of war and hatred. Of threats for nuclear war, threats of violence and retaliation for perceived wrongs. At the same time society urges us to focus on the material things in life. Do you have enough money? You need more. Do you have a nice house? You need a bigger one with a bigger mortgage. Do you have a nice car? You need the newer, more luxurious one.  Buy, buy, buy. Spend, spend, spend. And it does not matter what is in your way or how you get these things, you must get them to be happy.
  Only after we may acquire them do we realize that the happiness, the peacefulness, the complete satisfaction is still missing. Because we chose all of this noise over the words of Jesus whispering in our ear.
  Like the father in the scripture verse, it is not until we hear and realize what Jesus is saying that we will understand and be true followers. For it is in understanding the words of Jesus where we find the true happiness, the true peace, the true completeness. And it costs...... No money. Notice I said no money. Because while it costs no money it does cost something.
 The cost is really minimal, but to some it may seem too high. The cost is to leave behind our old selves. To become reborn to a new life and become new persons with a very different outlook and a very different view of what life is all about.
  Jesus is speaking to you now. He is asking you to follow him on a new path. He is asking all of us to release all the bitterness and anger and hatred and materialism that we all hold on to. He is asking us to let it all go, and live in a life of simple peace, and love, and compassion in Christ. We can only try to get there. Only a select few really make it before this journey we call life is complete.
  Myself? No, I'm not there yet. Sometimes a think I am very far away. But I keep trying. I keep listening. I keep hoping that someday I get it all correct. And then the words will say, "Welcome to my Father's house."  Someday.

A Father's Love

What is true love? In Sunday's gospel true love is evident. Most of us may remember the story of the prodigal son. It is the story of one son taking his share of his father's inheritance and squandering it, only to find himself back at his father's door step seeking forgiveness. But in recent years, we have changed our focus of the story. It is now referred to as the loving father. Fittingly so since we should be focusing on not what the son has done, because that really has no consequence on the father's reaction, but on the love and forgiveness that the father has for his son.
   Most of us know that the symbolism in this parable is of the Father's love for all of us. Especially His compassion for those who have turned their backs on him and then realize their mistake. And we,faithful  followers of Jesus, are the other brother who was told not to be jealous of this love, for it is always given to us as well.
   But in a different view, we are all asked to be like the father in the parable. This man shows true love. Here returns a person who spurned his love. A person who threw away all that had been given to him. And yet, as the son returns and seeks forgiveness, refusing even to forgive himself, his father has none of these feelings. Total compassion. Total forgiveness. Total understanding. Total love. Raising his son up not with a review or criticism of what he had done wrong, but with a forgiveness that tells him to forgive himself. This is the love we are asked to share. This is the love we are asked to live. This is God's love and seeing life through God's eyes. Eyes of mercy. Eyes of compassion. Eyes of understanding.
   If this day you have a friend, a loved one, an acquaintance, who is seeking forgiveness, from you or anyone else. Restore them to their proper dignity. Love them. Forgive them. Help them to love themselves. For as we love others, so shall the Father love us. And couldn't we all use a little compassionate forgiveness from God?

READING Isaiah 1:16-18

Wash yourselves clean!
Put away your misdeeds from before my eyes;
cease doing evil; learn to do good.
Make justice your aim; redress the wronged,
hear the orphan’s plea, defend the widow.
Come now, let us set things right,
says the Lord:
Though your sins be like scarlet,
they may become white as snow;
Though they be crimson red,
they may become white as wool.

We are called to make a difference. We are called to change the world. And many times, we sit back and do.........nothing. But there are many ways to make a difference. Large ways and small ways. I sometimes wonder if the world will have changed because of my presence. Will the world have moved closer to peace, love and God before my life journey is complete and will I have had an effect on the change.

Some chances to set things right may seem small to each of us, but may loom large to those affected by the chance. Our school runs a three day retreat for students. Teachers and alumi attend as well. A small sacrifice for the adults, but a life long effect for the students. Last night, at an event where people spoke of their experiences on this retreat, it was evident this makes a difference.
This year will be my first experience of this retreat. Again, a small way to set things right.

The papal conclave begins this Tuesday. A big event. An event that changes the life of the Catholic Church as well as the lives of millions of Catholics. And a chance for church leaders to review the past, evaluate the good and the bad, and set the wrong things right. Please pray for these men. We need forgiveness and healing right now.

Our lives are filled with all kinds of chances to set this life on the narrow path to God. As lent begins to reach its end, we all need to focus on how we each can recognize these events and embrace them as good and faithful followers of Christ.

The Soul Must Continue

He was a young boy, not yet sixteen. During try outs for the high school basketball team, he felt ill. As he waited to get a drink of water, he collapsed and soon his young life was over. Too soon. His name was Jose and he was a sophomore in high school. His life tragically cut short. Left were his friends, his family, his teachers, to deal with a loss that could not be explained, could not be comprehended. Why?
  This is a question that we as humans have pondered through the centuries. Why do loved ones have to die? Why are loved ones taken way from us, sometimes before we even realize the full extent of ow they have affected our lives and our hearts. Why? And yet, after all these years of questioning, there is no answer.
  The only solace we can find in these times, in these feelings, in this hurt, in this emptiness, is in faith. Faith allows us to at least grasp for hope. The hope that one day we will be united in an eternal life with the loved ones we have lost. For without faith, is life worth living. Without faith,our dearest ones are lost forever.
  Some may say there is no God. Some may say that if God existed, this would not be allowed to happen. But if we follow this way of thinking, we have no hope, o real future, only a journey to the end. But Jesus taught of a different ending. Jesus showed us a different ending, the followers saw and understood a different ending. And I, as a Catholic, as a Christian, as a believer refuse to accept that there is nothing after this life.
  Jose was my student and I saw in him a life, a love, a personality so unique, that there is no doubt in my mind that that energy, that life force, that soul of Jose's could never just cease to exist. I saw the same in my niece, Laura and in my dad. How can that just disappear.
  I thank God for my faith, because it makes my life worth living and gives me the solace of knowing that all those whom I have loved and have become a part of who I am, will reunite with me.